Golden Forest Spirit

Golden Forest Spirit by ~gingertom84 on deviantART

Employed, Finally!

I've found a job!

Visit the studio's site: http://animasia-studio.com/

I was hoping for some conceptual responsibilities, but well, I'm a fresh graduate, and I'm not from animation background. :P (graphic design mah) So I'll be doing, as my interviewer i.e. the Animation Director himself says, the in-betweens. I understand the term as tweening from Macromedia Flash™ (which is the very software the Studio uses mostly to develop projects).

What tweening entails is that I'll be given two keyframes. Keyframe One is what is about to happen. Keyframe Two is what happened. So in between what is about to happen and what happened, I'll have to draw them all. All in all, I am the one who make a cartoon character walked from point A to point B. Everything will be done in Flash™. A lot of drawing to be done ... and non-involvement in the creative process. I am at the receiving end of the conceptual development hierarchy. Fuck ...

I'm telling myself then I'm giving the Studio a year (they are giving me 2 weeks instead). After a year, if I'm not about to be involved in the creative process, I'll fire the Studio! Hahahaha!

Anyways, work starts on this Friday, 1st of June.

Now, why on earth am I involved in the animation field, you may ask. I'm not even interested in this fanfare myself. The reason is that more than one source, one time and situation wherein someone told me I should be in the animation field from observing my drawings. So I told myself, what the heck, lets give it a try. Given the luxury of time, choice, etc, I'll illustrate children's book, develop funny clip arts and design commercial posters.

So now I've two days time to brush up my Flash™ commands. I'm thinking of purchasing a lil handbook tonight to help me do just that.

Well, say good luck to my next deviation in my career journey! (I started with two years in a business school, then I moved to graphic design, and now I'm in the mentioned field.)

I Am A Fireball! Hoozaa!!

Take the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz.

Unemployed/Relaxed

It's been well over a month and a half, and I've yet to land on a job.

The truth is I am reluctant to get a job. All my effort has been a little and small. I have a diploma in graphic design, so I am supposed to get a career in the graphic design field or at least related to it.

Lemme justify my procrastinating habit a bit.

The horror stories of the advertising and graphic working environment are starting to get into me. And I've experienced part of it, which had really gave me a horrible lasting impression. I felt like I'm being bullied everyday AND night, and not even a moment to hide in a corner to weep. When I was bullied in school, I at least have the night to cry myself to bed.

But they said no work is effortless. They said when your pay is RM1000, the company expects a return from you multiplied 100 times your pay.

But this is the system being used for centuries by billions of people. China, the last stronghold of the workers' paradise, is also giving way to capitalism. I am a fucking lazy pig.

Ok, you'd prolly asking me what I wanna do then. I like to answer myself too. I like to draw. Make clip art and create cartoons. Illustrate children's book. Work for the sake of beauty, comedy and living.

I don't wanna work for survival. I wanna work for myself. Maybe I should run my own business. XD Yeah rite. Where do I get the money? :P Silly me

Stolen Moments

Stolen moments,
I met gods between seconds,
I walked the twilight road,
But before I thought I was alone,
In that dusky road,
I saw beautiful Apollo,
And he was gone
before I know who he was.

In that stolen moment,
Our eyes met,
Can you believe a love story
Could unfold between seconds?
I cannot believe
for I've lived it
Walking that dusky road
Where I met beautiful Apollo.

O Eros Trueshot
Thou art crueller than the Sisters.
How sharp thine love-arrow
Once the moment had passed
Apollo gone to light another day
I become awestruck, dumbfounded
My heart breaks in missing that divine ray.

O Lord, you have no mercy,
O Lady, you did not pray for me,
I shall go home now,
Curl up in my bed like a good kit,
Hoping to dream of beautiful Apollo
While I try to sleep with aching heart
For I've stolen those moments
And hoard them greedily ...

Last Days in College

27th March, Tuesday, will be my last day in college. It is the day I'll present my final year project to a group of silly people, who will decide whether I should be let out into the industry or not. When I was writing this, it is 22nd of March, 10:47PM, Thursday. Guess what, I still haven't complete my project!

Someone has to fuck me now. My asshole is ripe and raw, itching. :P Fuck me, please!

College. Let's talk about college. And college education. College was ... brief. Because physics dictates that when you have fun, you have it short and fleeting. When you suffer and grovel on the ground, worrying about the end of the world, you have it long and infinitely. Ok. Back to college. College was ... seriously, I dun quite remember college. All I remember was the people in it. I met a really good friend. She is really sweet. Her name is Efe. Spelling checked. Not Eve. It's Efe. Coz her name is Efelyn. Dun ask me is it spelled that way. It just is. And there was Mr. J. He's really sweet, openminded and compassionate and fun to be with. He is a like a father to me ... one who should be my father ...

Mr. J. He was admitted to hospital recently for heart surgery. Only a few days after his birthday. I should have visited him before. I feel bad. I am a bad student. I should go to his place after the 27th. He's having a hard time paying for his medicine and surgery costs. Maybe I should come up with some money every month for him. I am young. I could always find more money. I need to help him in anyway I could. He's been so kind to me, touched me in ways he didn't know. He's been kind to all his students. I salute this teacher. He deserves a medal for examplary educator.

And then there is Charlene. Intelligent ... and intelligent ... and good person to talk with. XD I like talking to her. I tell her everything. I actually tell everyone everything ... I am an open book. I don't go express my anger everyday, though. In my 3 years time in college, I think I burst 2 times? Maybe less lah. Hahhaa. I dun count leh. But I dun remember there was a time I turned black in my face in front of Charlene. I think most of the time I appear tired lor. Project mah. Haiz. I am thinking of retirement already. :P Ok, ok. Charlene ... hmmm ... hahaha, dunno what to say of her lah! She hardly tell me anything personal wan. XD Always tell me to read her blog. Boring sial. Must hear from own lips mah baru sedap. Kikiki.

Ok. So what is college education? It's an investment lah! Wei, I pay RM30,000 jor you think I dun want some money back ah hah? The bluddy diploma better mean something to my life! Sial!

24/7 Horny

My sex life is so sorry, so non-existing, that I cannot help but keep thinking about sex 24/7. Yeah, call me a slut, bitch, sodomite, whatever awful label or remark you could throw at me. I dare you! But this is my state of mind at the moment.

I tried everything. Masturbation. Cold shower. Being busy. But when I sit down and relax, I want someone to touch every square inch of my skin! Man, I wish I could crawl out of my skin so much so that I am disgusted with myself. I am 22, almost 23, but puberty seems to be never over with me! And it almost like it has just started.

It's been like this for almost over several months now. I might attribute it to the fact that my boyfriend is not paying attention to me. He is working his ass off for his career, to make a living, to cover our shared expenses. I tried to be understanding, alrite? But it doesn't help the chemicals in my body. It's not something to do with my mind! Bluddy hell, I do feel shame! I just can't help it!

Adultery? Is there such a word in the gay world context? Of course not! BECOZ ALL GAY MEN WILL HAVE SEX WITH THE HOTTEST GUY NEXT TO HIM NO MATTER THE MARITAL STATUS. I do love my boyfriend. Hell, what I would give to stay loyal to him. I am a monster. But can I help it? Maybe I should go get a boyfriend who could take an open relationship. I dunno. I am not so keen on the idea myself. If only my boyfriend is more adventurous and see that sex is the gateway to heaven, maybe my sex life will improve. Kinda selfish of me to think this way. But what am I supposed to do?! I am always stuck! I am fucking frustrated! ... And horny, goddammit!

Rhash Sworddancer

I love drawing this one! I simply feel so satisfied drawing it even before I get to finish it. Androgyny+sworddance+catpeople is so ... divine. I'm gonna draw more. :D

I'm a Mystic

You scored as Mystic. You are a Mystic. Practical magic isn't really your thing; you much prefer to take the inner roads to self-development and spiritual evolution. You find ecstasy in meditative silence and commune with the divine without aid of any church or religious leader to guide you. You will seek the light of heaven in your own way, even if that way is not apparent to the casual observer. Mystic 60% True Alternative 50% Otherkin 40% White Lighter 40% Aimless Eclectic 40% Discordian 30% Magician 30% Spiritualist 30% What Subversive Alternative Paradigm Are You? created with QuizFarm.com

void

meaningless — everything

China Has No Animal Rights

http://msnbbs.mop.com/read,fktt,543163,0.html

Mystic Theurge, I Am

Mystic Theurge 14% Combativeness, 23% Sneakiness, 64% Intellect, 69% Spirituality

Brilliant and spiritual! You are a Mystic Theurge! Score! You have a prestige class. A prestige class can only be taken after you�ve fulfilled certain requirements. This may mean that you�re an exceptionally talented person, but it probably doesn't. The Mystic Theurge is a combination of a cleric and a mage. They can cast both arcane and divine spells, and are good at both, making them pretty terrifying on the battlefield. They have more raw spellpower than just about any other class. You're both intelligent and faithful, but not violent or deceitful. I guess that makes you a pretty good person.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 2% on Combativeness You scored higher than 17% on Sneakiness You scored higher than 48% on Intellect You scored higher than 92% on Spirituality

Link: The RPG Class Test written by MFlowers on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Black Shepherd

I'm the one who swallows hearts
One who whispers in your ears
One who revels in bloody fury
One who laughs before tears

Your tears, your tears,
I drink them as my elixir!
Your sobing, your moaning,
Larks and harps to me ears!

Have fear, have fear
See shadows out of your window
Embrace the cold, be alone
Let me have you all by myself

Wander, wander,
Lost, forgotten, drenched
I'm the black shepherd
Who sups on lamb hearts!

Man's Day

Just dropping by to greet you all ...

[b]HAPPY BIRTHDAY![/b]

It's the 7th day of the First Chinese Lunar Month of the Year of the Dog! Basically the Chinese has been counting the years since the mythical Shang Dynasty so this year it has to be some thing of 4000-ish. I'm not sure. The Gregorian Calendar seems to play a more important role in our daily lives. We leave the 'lunacy' to astrologers. And this doesn't seem to give you an answer to why I'm greeting you all this!

It's the day when Nu Wa made mankind out of clay. :) Also called Yan Yat, Man's Day. We don't have cakes in Old China, and what seems to be the custom is that we loh yee sang. :D Yee sang is a huge plate of salad. The ingredients are fried biscuits, sliced pickles, sesame seeds, crushed peanuts, pieces of jellyfish, colored things (I'm not sure what are those things but they are usually red and green and comes in cut strands). Each ingredient is arranged to its kind. The family and friends would sit around, and the father would pour in the sesame oil, vinegar, malt syrup and the crushed sesame seeds. And the most important ingredient of all! The raw fish pieces! Usually it's a grouper. Today its the expensive choice is salmon. And the entire family and guests stands up with their chopsticks ready, and we go mixing the yee sang together! We pull the ingredients far from the plate, the higher the better as the custom goes. The mess is only necessary. It's not meant to be filling. It's symbolic and it's fun. :D So the more chopsticks the merrier and the huger the plate is!

The Chinese New Year celebration lasts for 15 days. It's sometimes call the Spring Festival. The first reunion dinner is on New Year's Eve. The second reunion dinner is on the 7th day. The third reunion dinner is on the 15th. We usually skip the 15th in Malaysia. Not sure about the Chinese in China. I'm Malaysian Chinese. I'm only speaking on behalf of all Malaysian Chinese. :) The Chinese is 30% of the Malaysian population. So the entire country goes on holidays for the first two to three days of the celebration.

The 15th day is also known as the Yuan Xiao Festival. It is named after a palace servant girl. The story shall be told in length on the 15th. :D

Tis my work. Like it? :D

Kitten Blanket

KITTEN BLANKET

There is this strange lil' ginger tom floating in space amongst the stars and many-ringed planets with his head in a fishbowl. He looks quite surprise, the poor kitty, as if he was just newly whisked into being where he is right now. He desperately scratches the vacuum like a cat slipping down a slanted glass that is far too big for a cat to land on the ground soon. The more he sratches, the more space somersaults his arched body does. This cat is very lost, desperate and shocked. His orange striped fur is all ruffed up as he approaches a nervous breakdown. A cat must find some ground!

Suddenly, a huge curved holographic screen popped up right in front of the panicky cat. The blue screen shows the head of a golden-scaled snake with white underside. The ginger tom looks into the left eye of the snake as snakes had monoscopic vision, unlike cats and humans, which has binocular vision. The cat slows down his scratching and looked real deep into the eye of the snake. The cat saw something real familiar. It's as familiar as the kitten blanket he used to sleep in, until his owner—ahem—I mean caretaker took it away and dumped it into a bin full of rubbish. Well, the familiar thing in the snake's eye is absolutely not his kitten blanket. It's something else. A thing so old and close that you would think it's your undie with too many a hole, which you always forget to dispose of.

The snake shoots its forked tongue out, and that really scared the shit out of the cat. The ginger tom continues to scratch the vacuum, desperately searching for the ground even more fervously than ever. But the cat's in space. So all the motions he made are useless. It brings him to nowhere, but only the agonizingly slow somersaults. As his head turned away from the hologram, he saw an array of animals swimming the vacuum towards him. The cat slows down and sees that the multitude of species was gliding relaxingly towards the hologram. There were foxes, jackals, goats, wolves, dogs, big cats, wildcats, and domestic cats, dragons, and some creatures that defies all classification.

The cat turns his head around again and sees that the screen has now a different picture. It's the picture of a ferris wheel, and the animals are filling up the boxes, eager for it to start rotating, like it was the Titanic's maiden voyage.

And the cat has this feeling the ferris wheel is indeed the Titanic, although he doesn't really know why the ferris wheel has to be the Titanic. He tries to tell the animals that it would be a doomed ride! But sound can't really travel across vacuum, now can it? Oh, it's a fact, a hard scientific fact. And the fact is a space debri the size of a boulder flying towards the ginger tom. And he screams a scream that a cat could make in a fishbowl while floating in space.

And as suddenly as the weird hologram popping up in the middle of nowhere in the universe, a doberman puppy knocks the ginger tom out of the course of the flying debri. Everybody knows a dog is the natural enemy of a cat. But that's just not applicable in our times, isn't it? We've seen dogs living in the same house with a cat, and they do fine. But the ginger tom, still in a panicking mode, looks at the pup with wide eyes.

The cat and the pup then looked to where the debri is flying towards. And it's heading straight for the ferris wheel. BOOM! There were daisies in the air! White daisies everywhere! In the air? That's weird? 'Cause we were in space just now. The ginger tom has now squirmed out of his fishbowl and is now skipping all about the green meadow in the first day of true spring. There's sunshine but the cat sits next to the doberman pup, and looks up into the star-filled sky. White daisies are still snowing down from above.

"Look!" says the cat as he stands on both of his hindlegs the way a cat could.
"Look at what?" asks the pup.
"There's Alpha Centauri!" The cat points to a very faint white star.
"What about it"
"I read from an astronomy book that says Alpha Centauri has a planet that could probably support life like Earth."
"Life on another planet? Are you really buying that?"
"The book didn't say the planet IS supporting life."
"Oh. Okay."

The cat sits down, and began cleaning his fur. The pup sleeps.

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GT

Jazz Out

I wanted to post something but I just
couldn't find what to say.
I'm bored. I'm sleepless.
Time flies. Dumbly staring into the computer.

Maybe I just wanted the attention.
Maybe I need to attend a class
on flower-arrangement or yoga.
But I do have a lot to do in my hands
and head. I've got worlds to create,
art commissions to complete,
books to read, things to draw,
past assignments that needed refinement.

But I just don't feel like doing anything.
Not even sleep at this unholiest hour
of the night. I'm simply stupefied.
Listening to jazz over the internet radio.
Nice songs they play. Simply love it.

Well, good night everyone.
This gay man is OUT.

='.'=
GT

Smile, Please

A baby born crying
Relatives cheered

A man died smiling
Relatives mourned

An angel smiles
The mob curses

A demon smiles
The mob goes high

A kitten drowned
A boy looked

A soldier falls
An enemy rejoices

A lamb stewed
An ewe alone

A girl counts to 10
A boy counts to none

A man eating
A woman starving

Someone homeless
Someone climbs mountains

A singer sings
A beggar begs

I see and hear
My friend blind and deaf

My friend walks
Another on wheels

I once heard,
"Fear God,"

I also heard,
"Love God,"

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GT

The Problem with Homosexuality

The problem is the existence of homosexuality is viewed as a threat to the institution of the Family. Politicians in the West & theocrats in the East are using this very reason to condemn homosexuality. Because the Family is the basic unit that made up the foundations of the State and the Church. Without a proper order, and consistent definition of family, the conventions of the State and the Church simply cannot hold themselves together. Thus, a complete collapse of civilizations. I think there is a manner of truth in what these liars are saying (speaking as a gay man here) because civilizations, the State and the Church exist only until today because of the constant nature of a reproductive family of which in turn holds to the ideals and disciplines of the State and the Church. A co-dependent system of survival of belief systems.

This is an analysis of humanity's collective psychology, you see. What is stated above is neither bad nor good, but it is just a way of survival for an age-old belief system that simply cannot include everybody in the Universe. This belief is even reflected in the belief of a God that excludes, thus a Hell, where all those excluded from the family of God shall be dumped into. This is the only logical explanation to justify the existence of different people to the so-called normal people. That is so that members of God's family could be differentiated like white against black. Greys are not viewed as a color of its own. Grey is white stained with black, that needed a strong detergent for cleaning. Cleaning is a must, or Hell to you all!

Of course, this is a false God. God is the one, who inlcudes all and loves all and blesses all of his creation for all is a product of his creativity. How can one create all only to have all segregated into units to be scrutinized and discerned? A man of reasonable mind with a complete sense of conscience must know that how he feels is also how others would feel. Ain't we all made in the image and likeness of God? We are ourselves the testimony and evidence of God.

What we need is a new definition of Family, and that is the Cosmic Family. A family that includes all, even all the diversity of the human race, and that we truly love each other as family members ought to love one another. With this belief intact, automatically, God would be the one who truly includes all and blesses all for the Truth is God and humanity are a reflection of one another. No one in particular is the object of reflection for we reflect each other. God and humanity. Evidence of this can be found in the Old Testament, a time when God is said to favor only His Chosen People, and fought and killed all else. Even with Jesus's revelations of a God that includes all, we still practice, in State & Church, the same mentality of Roman Imperialism, which is now renamed as the modern way of life, or the only way of life.

'Live like us, or live a lesser being.' Everybody wants to be a citizen of Rome. Nobody likes to be a provincial. Today, every Asian wants to be American, or one belongs to the Third World. What are we supposed to do? Even our T's and jeans and KFC chicken are innovations of America. Both Democrats and Republicans are guilty of condemning homosexuality within the states of America. America has only islands, reserves, sanctuaries for homosexuals to gather, herded in a place like cows so that enterprises could milk their sense of fasion and style, and make billions out of it. The gay couple is the money churner of today. With no children to support, two working males, usually highly educated and highly paid & qualified, the gay couple is the ideal target market for enterprises to sell their products. That is all. America is not a complete liberal haven, but a commercial haven.

(='.'=)
GT

Pati

Is there a place for such a thing as ghastly as a werefeline? It cannot be so for this thing must, and I exert must, only exist in the active imagination of psychotic patients. Patients are what those people who think themselves as werefelines. Patient comes from the Latin word 'pati' of which means suffer. And it makes one wonder that the word passion comes from the same Latin root 'pati'. So it would make us all 'patients' as we all live life with such intimate passion. We suffer, that's what we do with life most of the time. We suffer, endlessly. For I think, that is what life is all about. Being so intimately passionate with everything that is life, we suffer our own passions of life.

(='.'=)
GT