Smitten

Two jobs each with a glanconer. I'm fucked. I want both.

Fun fact: A glanconer is a Scottish elven knight believed to be responsible for the disappearances of maidens and mysterious impregnations. He's said to be honey-tongued, and such a master in the erotic arts that no maiden bedded with him would want a mortal lover.

Flower

I've recently read the latest entry of this blog belonging to a friend. It's the same tale happening once more. A life that was never lived. A flower never allowed to blossom completely.

You see, I don't want to repeat the same story upon myself i.e. work to live. I am frighten by it. I want to enjoy work so that I could live. Really live. And not be a drone. Being told that my performance is not up to par. Being fired for that reason. Being shamed. For I will be ashamed of myself because I know the reason very well. My performance would not be up to par because I don't enjoy what I am doing. Hence, the lack of drive.

If I should enjoy what I am doing, I'd be orgasmic to do the same thing everyday. It wouldn't be a struggle. I would welcome every new day, loving what will come and loving the act of performing work. When I love my job, the rest will see it. The passion and drive will be manifested throughout my physical environment and reality. No obstacle will be too hard to overcome. No inane boss will debase me with evil words. Because the love will keep me afloat! I am unstoppable!

You see, goodness from within will always manifest into the goodness without. If all you're feeling is lousiness, that feeling will manifest into the universe as well. But don't worry. Good feelings always have greater and faster effects upon the universe. Evil circumstances, things that happen in the wrong time or things that should never happen only become of a longterm accumulation of innate negativity.

Make it a point to cheer yourself every day. Do something to uplift thy life, for this life is thy only one. How easily I've forgotten that; I only have one life, and one 23^rd birthday! Youth is wasted on the young. But I shall not waste it, and I will make it a point to live every moment of my life in happiness, greatness and completeness.

Fame, success and crazy amount of money are not what I need. I need happiness. I need real wealth. A wealth of time enjoyed, sleep well taken, a spouse loved properly and a death without regrets.

I am not a graphic designer.

I know that for certain. For I don't have the flare to convince strangers to buy themselves the latest NX-378 Ultra to make their lives more comfortable and complete. Yes, the entire consumer market is an invented concept based on a great lie i.e. happiness can be bought only if you use NX-378 Ultra. Beneath the jargons and dogma of the advertising world, that is all to it. It's a frigging parasite chasing and nurturing the sickness and conditions that create more disappointment and unhappiness in the human species. Advertising is a multicellular, living organism perpetuating – no – farming human fears and weaknesses. For those are the seeds this malevolent creature sows to reap more of the same things; fear, regrets, sadness, disappointment, melancholia, a certain feeling of impending doom and sorrows!

Oh, woe is me, you say. Buy NX-378 Ultra, and woe becomes not you! Order this second and you'll get an upgrade and freebies. And ultimately NX-378 Ultra does not work, and you wonder why. You approached the retailer, and he tells you that it is a delicate machinery designed by someone with a name you should remember or risk eternal damnation (but he'll never tell you that the laborers who made NX are indentured slave-children working 5-to-3, 7-day a week where the money note has been so big because of the zeros from inflation that it covered the entire country from the sight of God). So the only reason why it didn't work because you, clumsy little asshole, did not use it with care and proper attention. Yes, you actually paid for something that ultimately, and will always disappoint you, and get fucked in the face for misusing it. What you do? Another ad says, NX Sux! Buy NC-80,000 Wickedly Ultra! The cycle repeats itself.

It's all been said before. And it's being said again. Why does it always work? Because people are always being born and these new generation (another ad jargon) will always encounter the same piece of information for the first time in their lives.

The conclusion is: I have zero interest in what I've paid to study for 3 fucking years. Of course, those 3 fucking years were my happy years. I fucked a lot of people in those years. Interesting people. Haha. Anyways, those fucking years were not wasted. My primary reason studying graphic design is not to convince people to buy NX-378 Ultra. It is to open up avenues into the different art professions and fields!

I am a children's book illustrator. And I will get a job or a series of jobs being paid for being who I am! And will make a hell lotsa money, coz I love myself.

They say work does not define you. Bullcrap. You're spending 99.999% of your life at work, and you're not making the most out of it? It's all bullcrap and more bullcrap. And bullshit. I dunno what's difference, but anyways, no. If it's something that you spend the most of your life with, it should prolly pay more than feeding your fucking mouth! And your shih-tzu.

It should make you happy in every waking moment.

If you're feeling like crap at work, working, before work, after work, whateverthefuck work, than you're wasting 99.999% of your lifetime feeling sorry for yourself. And when you're in your deathbed, only if your mind is still in one piece after so many years of self-abuse and emotional sadism, you could only pray that the Allfucking Lord will keep His promise of an afterlife.

Look, after all these years of using NX-378 Ultra and other brands with the same brand promises (ad jargon), don't you think God and Heaven are just another set of brands people trying to sell you? Oops. Sorry. There goes your hope for resting in eternal (eternity is another ad jargon to sell you wedding gowns) peace!

You know life is working for you when you're feeling good all the time and have enough too. Wealth in all forms will follow. Health will too. For your old folks as well. Goodness is like pollens in flowers, commuting from one plant's sexual genitalia to another. It's not spirituality or metaphysics. It is as it is.

Fun fact: Do you know a flower is a vagina and penis at the same time? Think about it when you give or receive flowers.

Mio Nemico | Princess Fantaghiro

I practically grew up with the Fantaghiro sequence. Each episode is a complete 2-hour film. The MV is made by someone, a video I just wanted to show you how much I'm affected by the fantasy masterpiece. An Italian production based on an Italian medieval legend about a tomboy princess went about to save her man-in-distress. It was aired on Malaysia national TV during my childhood times. I think it was also about the time when I discovered my love for men. Ah, the handsome Romualdo played by Kim Rossi Stuart. The beautiful soundtrack music is composed by Amedeo Minghi. I love the entire thing; the song, the characters and the story itself!

Iqram 001

Iqram 001 by ~gingertom84 on deviantART

Holy Cat Bible

I wrote it: Iqram