My sex life is so sorry, so non-existing, that I cannot help but keep thinking about sex 24/7. Yeah, call me a slut, bitch, sodomite, whatever awful label or remark you could throw at me. I dare you! But this is my state of mind at the moment.
I tried everything. Masturbation. Cold shower. Being busy. But when I sit down and relax, I want someone to touch every square inch of my skin! Man, I wish I could crawl out of my skin so much so that I am disgusted with myself. I am 22, almost 23, but puberty seems to be never over with me! And it almost like it has just started.
It's been like this for almost over several months now. I might attribute it to the fact that my boyfriend is not paying attention to me. He is working his ass off for his career, to make a living, to cover our shared expenses. I tried to be understanding, alrite? But it doesn't help the chemicals in my body. It's not something to do with my mind! Bluddy hell, I do feel shame! I just can't help it!
Adultery? Is there such a word in the gay world context? Of course not! BECOZ ALL GAY MEN WILL HAVE SEX WITH THE HOTTEST GUY NEXT TO HIM NO MATTER THE MARITAL STATUS. I do love my boyfriend. Hell, what I would give to stay loyal to him. I am a monster. But can I help it? Maybe I should go get a boyfriend who could take an open relationship. I dunno. I am not so keen on the idea myself. If only my boyfriend is more adventurous and see that sex is the gateway to heaven, maybe my sex life will improve. Kinda selfish of me to think this way. But what am I supposed to do?! I am always stuck! I am fucking frustrated! ... And horny, goddammit!
