I saw a porpoise beached
On a starfish-looking eve
What come is not what I look for
But I go to the porpoise stranded
On coarse sand just beyond reach
Of his original life
I looked into his teary eyes
And I asked, "Why are you here?"
And he said, "I was looking,"
"What are you looking for?"
"I was looking for life."
So I was amused
And the whole world should be
"Isn't your life in the sea?"
Then the porpoise wept,
Drawing his last breath,
I look on with indifference.
"Isn't your life in the sea?"
His thirsty skin was drying from the even winds
"Isn't your life in the sea?"
I asked indifferently again
"I was drowning in the sea!"
So I laughed!
I said, "I'd drown if I stay in the sea,
"You're a porpoise thus breathe the sea."
Then the dying porpoise said,
"Was I not fed with milk?
"Does not warm blood runs in my veins?
"I but only hold my breath longer in the sea,
"And I am sick of holding my breath."
Nevertheless, I told the porpoise indifferently,
"So you are right,
"And rightly you will die
"On this starfish-looking eve."
And I walked away leaving him to rot.
'Firday, June 22, 2007'
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Four Types of Painkiller I Was Given
I was hospitalized on the first day on the job. I was given four shots and put on the drip. This is what happened.
The night before Friday, I stay awake till 2AM trying to brush up my Flash commands. And then I woke up at 7AM, getting ready for work at 9AM. I had a small of cake, which was obviously not enough for my rather large appetite. So I went off to work hardly full, tired, sleepy and nervous. When I arrived at the office, for goodness sake, the lights were rather dim and windows were covered with dark curtains. The light of the eMac screen was so blinding I couldn't keep my eyes open, and the environs were sleep conducive. While I was doing a rather tedious exercise of tracing a sketch using Flash and a mouse ... While around me people were playing a mix of genres of songs, and colleagues trying to lip-sync rather noisy characters! And I was there worrying not being able to complete this exercise of familiarization!
I've already felt the cramps on my way to the office. When I sat down in front of the computer in that environment, the cramps overtook my senses. At first I thought I could sit in the pantry and let the pain subside, perhaps. I tried to control my breathing, while telling myself in the mind that, "I must go through with this. First day impression is of paramount importance. I must stand on this." With my breathing regulated, I went back to my station. My eyes began to droop, my hands were shaking, I was beginning to sweat, one layer of panic was stack on another.
I went to my supervisor, and told him that I couldn't do this anymore. He had told me to take the day off when I went into the pantry. Obviously, I looked like I was struggling in pain enough to be noted by him, by anyone. So I went to him, and said I'll go the clinic, and see what the doctor could do for me. I'll return for the rest day when I return. And I didn't return.
I went to the clinic, and the doctor gave me a shot. He assured me the pain will go away after the jab. I went to lie down for like 30 minutes, 1 hour? I dunno. It was so much pain in the entire region of my stomach and bowels. Touching my tummy is like pouring salt on an open wound. No touching it, I was feeling gastronomical spasms ... Anyways, after an hour, I thought I was feeling much better, so I thought. But the pain didn't really go away. The moment I stood up on my legs, the spasm returned. So yeah, I thought, "I should be going to rest now that this is too much to concentrate. I should go up and explain or download the exercise into my thumbdrive ..." And then I thought how embarrassing that would be, how nervous I felt trying to say these things. The more nervous I get, the stronger the spasm bites in my bowels. It felt like my intestines had been tied into infinite knots. I actually curled up on the bench. I freaked the nurse out in the counter, but she went for the clinic's doctor.
The doctor asked me whether I like an ambulance or someone I know to get me to a hospital. I called my dad, he didn't pick up. I called my hubby, he didn't pick up. At that point, I couldn't even talk feeling so much pain. I hit call, and hand the phone to the doctor. My supervisor picked up the phone. After a few minutes, he came with another colleague and a car. I was bound for Universiti Hospital.
I writhed so much in the back seat, I think I was freaking my colleagues out. My supervisor tried to comfort me. It felt nice to be comforted, of course. (He was quite dashing in my opinion. :P Ok, back to the pain.) I was panting, and squirming and making strange noises, trying to hold the spasms back. And I can't.
So there I was in UH in the middle of PJ, sent to the emergency ward. My throat was dried because I was breathing through my mouth so much. My nose was still stuffed after I recovered from flu recently. They gave me a jab in the ass again, and some antacid I think. It tasted like medicine and menthol, but I felt like vomiting afterwards. The spasms were still there after a long while. So they decided to draw my blood and put me on the drip. And gave me another shot through the drip puncture hole in my hand for the pain.
I was still writhing after all this. They told me to lie on my back, but they don't know the pain was greater that way. I needed to curl and kick on my side. My blood was fine. I was put into x-ray scan. The scan was fine. But the spasms were even better.
So I was given another type of painkiller in the drip puncture. At some point, my hubby came. In between of spasms, I overheard that I was already given four types of painkillers, above the average dosages. But the fourth shot had done it. That one put me to sleep. It was a relief ...
Hmm ... my hubby told me that the nurse who did the drip puncture on my hand forgotten to placed in a safety cap. So when she stabbed the tube into my hand, blood squirted out everywhere ... I only realized my hand was wet with blood after I've awaken from my fourth shot.
As I'm typing this, I can still feel the hardness in my stomach and bowels. The kinda the pain you feel after a huge cramp in the limbs. I'm now worrying about Monday ... What a great first day impression I made in the office, and the scare I gave to my supervisor ... I'm thinking if I am suitable at all for that office with its kind of environment, and this field of work. I've yet to send my supervisor an apology message for disturbing his schedule so I'll do that after I've posted this. I wouldn't be surprised if the Studio decided to relief me from my job. I like to be relieved! I'm taking this an evil omen of the days to come ...
Self-diagnosis: gastric contractions and acid excretions from nervousness. With an empty stomach, it turns into spasms. The doctors told me to go their outpatient clinic for further investigations, but I rather not. I know it for fact coz this is a familiar pain, only multiplied a hundred times.
The night before Friday, I stay awake till 2AM trying to brush up my Flash commands. And then I woke up at 7AM, getting ready for work at 9AM. I had a small of cake, which was obviously not enough for my rather large appetite. So I went off to work hardly full, tired, sleepy and nervous. When I arrived at the office, for goodness sake, the lights were rather dim and windows were covered with dark curtains. The light of the eMac screen was so blinding I couldn't keep my eyes open, and the environs were sleep conducive. While I was doing a rather tedious exercise of tracing a sketch using Flash and a mouse ... While around me people were playing a mix of genres of songs, and colleagues trying to lip-sync rather noisy characters! And I was there worrying not being able to complete this exercise of familiarization!
I've already felt the cramps on my way to the office. When I sat down in front of the computer in that environment, the cramps overtook my senses. At first I thought I could sit in the pantry and let the pain subside, perhaps. I tried to control my breathing, while telling myself in the mind that, "I must go through with this. First day impression is of paramount importance. I must stand on this." With my breathing regulated, I went back to my station. My eyes began to droop, my hands were shaking, I was beginning to sweat, one layer of panic was stack on another.
I went to my supervisor, and told him that I couldn't do this anymore. He had told me to take the day off when I went into the pantry. Obviously, I looked like I was struggling in pain enough to be noted by him, by anyone. So I went to him, and said I'll go the clinic, and see what the doctor could do for me. I'll return for the rest day when I return. And I didn't return.
I went to the clinic, and the doctor gave me a shot. He assured me the pain will go away after the jab. I went to lie down for like 30 minutes, 1 hour? I dunno. It was so much pain in the entire region of my stomach and bowels. Touching my tummy is like pouring salt on an open wound. No touching it, I was feeling gastronomical spasms ... Anyways, after an hour, I thought I was feeling much better, so I thought. But the pain didn't really go away. The moment I stood up on my legs, the spasm returned. So yeah, I thought, "I should be going to rest now that this is too much to concentrate. I should go up and explain or download the exercise into my thumbdrive ..." And then I thought how embarrassing that would be, how nervous I felt trying to say these things. The more nervous I get, the stronger the spasm bites in my bowels. It felt like my intestines had been tied into infinite knots. I actually curled up on the bench. I freaked the nurse out in the counter, but she went for the clinic's doctor.
The doctor asked me whether I like an ambulance or someone I know to get me to a hospital. I called my dad, he didn't pick up. I called my hubby, he didn't pick up. At that point, I couldn't even talk feeling so much pain. I hit call, and hand the phone to the doctor. My supervisor picked up the phone. After a few minutes, he came with another colleague and a car. I was bound for Universiti Hospital.
I writhed so much in the back seat, I think I was freaking my colleagues out. My supervisor tried to comfort me. It felt nice to be comforted, of course. (He was quite dashing in my opinion. :P Ok, back to the pain.) I was panting, and squirming and making strange noises, trying to hold the spasms back. And I can't.
So there I was in UH in the middle of PJ, sent to the emergency ward. My throat was dried because I was breathing through my mouth so much. My nose was still stuffed after I recovered from flu recently. They gave me a jab in the ass again, and some antacid I think. It tasted like medicine and menthol, but I felt like vomiting afterwards. The spasms were still there after a long while. So they decided to draw my blood and put me on the drip. And gave me another shot through the drip puncture hole in my hand for the pain.
I was still writhing after all this. They told me to lie on my back, but they don't know the pain was greater that way. I needed to curl and kick on my side. My blood was fine. I was put into x-ray scan. The scan was fine. But the spasms were even better.
So I was given another type of painkiller in the drip puncture. At some point, my hubby came. In between of spasms, I overheard that I was already given four types of painkillers, above the average dosages. But the fourth shot had done it. That one put me to sleep. It was a relief ...
Hmm ... my hubby told me that the nurse who did the drip puncture on my hand forgotten to placed in a safety cap. So when she stabbed the tube into my hand, blood squirted out everywhere ... I only realized my hand was wet with blood after I've awaken from my fourth shot.
As I'm typing this, I can still feel the hardness in my stomach and bowels. The kinda the pain you feel after a huge cramp in the limbs. I'm now worrying about Monday ... What a great first day impression I made in the office, and the scare I gave to my supervisor ... I'm thinking if I am suitable at all for that office with its kind of environment, and this field of work. I've yet to send my supervisor an apology message for disturbing his schedule so I'll do that after I've posted this. I wouldn't be surprised if the Studio decided to relief me from my job. I like to be relieved! I'm taking this an evil omen of the days to come ...
Self-diagnosis: gastric contractions and acid excretions from nervousness. With an empty stomach, it turns into spasms. The doctors told me to go their outpatient clinic for further investigations, but I rather not. I know it for fact coz this is a familiar pain, only multiplied a hundred times.
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